At this point it would be a blessing to die I feel empty as a lie, no matter what my intentions are or how hard I try to heal old wounds, they intensify with each ‘success’ catching my ego by surprise. Yes I want to kill myself and yes I have attempted multiple suicides does […]

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On Hold

You are the answer to your own questions, as much as this hurts you seeded the puzzle to find your own worth. Every soul leaves the quantum in order to feel the pain of being human. Do you realize how sick I feel? Then how can you ask me to keep open and be real? […]

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Coming Home

I have memories of a very angry person shouting and screaming and loosing his disposition repeating the mistakes of others in a linear fashion. Besides that there is not much else to say except for the love I can convey to this figure who held my hand and marched me in the direction of playing […]

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The Last Stretch

Creating more complex problems as we try to solve old ones makes for an application that is dysfunctional & inconsistent, our civilization is pressing against a doom that is not too distant voicing a pessimistic outlook does not mean one cannot be resistant to one’s own negative current. Let us flip the switch to an honest attempt to […]

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Lone Wolf

The underlying mechanism needs to be fixed throwing more ideas at a storm of resistance is jinxed with a certainty of failure. You shall keep repeating the lesson unless you stop trying to attain perfection. It is the habit of a spoilt child to seek attention by throwing an emotional tantrum, your ego needs to […]

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Backwards Advancement

Torn asunder from the spirit of wonder at what stage did this trip go so wrong and when will it return to pure surrender? Years passing in a flash of lightening here I am yet again bargaining for a fresh lease on life with a better grip on my worries as they only cause strife. […]

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Bereft of Concepts

I give up with the trying I give in to the crying. No more wanting no more needing, I am simply bleeding the pain is too much and it is not receding. This is the disease of self-loathing. The person that I am pushing to change is breaking under the strain, always ready to crack […]

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